anthill1956

Ant's Rant number 1

WORK IN PROGRESS

I always think of my Music as being more like a piece of Art than a commercial venture, and, having no constraints except time (always at a premium) Its difficult to decide when to consider a work as finished. This is especially true for me because I am creating something that I actually want to listen to and which I hope others will hear and maybe enjoy.

I can work this way because its my way of relaxing and I treat it as a pastime and a vital escape from reality for a while. It's not how I make my living, if it was I would probably starve. If I had to meet deadlines and satisfy current trends then it would become a job and maybe its something I could do but it's unlikely I am going to have EMI knocking on my door anytime soon. So for now the key words are, self indulgence and satisfaction and if anyone else appreciates my efforts then that's a bonus.

Talking of art, some of the worlds greatest artists have been known to re-visit a painting they were unhappy with, or thought they could improve in some way. We know that many a great iconic image has been painted on a previously used canvas while the original painting that the artist may have spent many days working on has presumably been lost forever. We know this when old masters have been scanned and found to have other works underneath! Presumably the artist considered their attempts were not good enough to present to their critics or patrons, or maybe it was simply that the cost of the canvas exceeded the value perceived by the artist. Having been in the position of choosing whether to record over a used 1/2 inch 8 track tape or pay at out for a new reel I can say that sometimes economy won the argument.....who knows what masterpieces I have erased over the years!

Now, I am not comparing myself to the Great Masters in any shape or form, (although I do have an O Level in art) but I do share this obsession in finishing a work to a high enough standard to withstand any inspection or crticism....but here lies the problem.

We set ourselves a very high benchmark but, when you are creating something unique and personal , how do you or anyone else judge it....and what do you judge it against. Do we know if anyone told Van Gogh that his Starry Night stars didn't resemble any Stars that had actually been seen in the night sky of Earth or that Monet's Water Lilies looked a little like algae on a stagnant pond or that L S Lowry's characters looked like matchstick men....ok I concede that someone may have commented on that similarity. What I am trying to say Is that this quest for perfection is pointless and impossible to attain because everyone's idea of perfection is different . Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and we see and hear what our mind tells us regardless of how anyone else's mind perceives the same subject. We all get our kicks in our own personal way and that's what makes us human and fallible.....But I already know this so why do I still seek that Holy Grail of perfection?

Modern recording technology enables me to make a lot of changes to my recordings but that quick & easy fix can also lead to the door of Temptation that opens into what I call "The Tweaking Room". Now this door should have a warning stating "Abandon hope all ye who enter" as once you have been drawn within you may never leave! Once you enter and place those headphones on your head and start to caress those faders you are hooked and you can only go on until you are satisfied....no matter how long it takes! To quote Winston Churchill "if you find yourself in Hell....keep going!"

Ok, I've said my bit and consider yourselves warned, but will you follow this advice....Will I ?

I therefore conclude that any of us so called "creative types" have a certain gene that makes us want to create things. Furthermore, those creations need to meet certain criteria, but we don't yet know what the criteria is. Unfortunately this "creative" gene doesn't appear to have a set instructions to follow nor a panic button that will allow us to simply stop!..... So, we persevere in our quest for perfection and eventually hope we fall, stumble or leap across the finishing line and discover we have Accomplished, Attained, Finalised, Concluded and Mastered that last great work and shout (with no confidence whatsoever)........

IT'S IN THE CAN! IT'S DONE, FINALLY FINISHED,

NOW I CAN GET ON WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE...Oh!...by the way,

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WIFE AND KIDS ??

Ant's Rant number 2

Memories are made of this.

I was rummaging through my collection of family photographs the other day, looking for one particular picture in literally thousands of images from the last 50 years and not counting the hundreds more that my Dad took. Needless to say I didn't find what I was looking for but I will because I never throw any away.....it's just a matter of remembering where and when I last saw it.

Now this also got me thinking about memories, mine in particular but it must apply to everyone else, if we didn't save these little mementos of a past life would they disappear from our lives as if they never happened. I have just looked through hundreds of moments from my life and seen myself as a young man, as a young Dad, my children as babies and toddlers and seen them dressing up and playing or on holiday somewhere I hadn't remembered going.

So, if I hadn't ever looked at these photos again would they cease to exist in my conscious mind, I suspect they would except in some vague recollection that I remember the kids were great fun and we went on holiday somewhere

in Spain. I also found family group shots where everyone in the photo has now passed but here they are...caught in a moment in time when they were younger than I am now. Is this our future then, hoping that we leave enough photographs and videos to keep us alive in someone's memory, or maybe once we are gone it won't matter. I for one am not taking that chance, plan A is to live forever but not sure how that will pan out so plan B is to make sure my photographs, videos and all my music is readily accessible to all who may be interested, and who knows, maybe in the distant future someone will look at my heritage and say something like, wow! this was my Great Great Grandad....he was a bit of a self indulgent old twat but it's cool we got all these old mementos..............

I wonder if they are worth anything???

Meanwhile, here is one I made earlier....... and no sticky back plastic!

Ant's Rant number 3